• Ann

Parents Vs Friends



Let me start off by wishing all of our sisters who are mother's a belated HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! Mother’s Day is one of my favorite holidays, with my birthday being #1. OF COURSE ;-)

This BLOG has to deal with relationships... Specifically, the relationships between mothers and their children. OK. I already see the eye-rolling. Expecting another super sweet shout out to the purity of motherhood. NO!

Here is my issue: When did it become okay, alright, and acceptable to be my child's friend! In my opinion, NEVER! I carried this child for 9 months, doing my best to give you a healthy start. I ate better, rested more, stopped partying, all to give you a good start. Then... I laid on a table for 17 hours or more, to push you into this world. Trust and believe it was not to be your friend!

The day we become friends is the day you become a mother. I know it appears cool to go to the club with your daughter/son, celebrate their 21st birthday, have a great time! What’s the harm? What does a 35+ year old have in common with a 21 year old? We're both shaking our groove thangs when one of us should be sitting down.

How do we help our children navigate the stormy waters of young adulthood if we are not being the adult? It is hard enough keeping that lil booger safe, fed, and loved. I am not throwing in being your friend. I am not saying, don’t have fun with your children. I am not saying don’t create wonderful memories together. What I am saying is not to attend Lady’s Night at the Club featuring you and your child. STOP!

I spent a lot of time growing up in bars, clubs, juke joints, watching my mother “have a good time”. I often heard her say, “my life didn’t stop 'cause I had kids”; “I’m young, I have to live my life”. I lost my virginity at 16, got pregnant, and became a mom by 17. Did witnessing my mom’s behavior influence my recklessness. YES! Did I make bad decisions from watching her make bad decisions? YES!

But she was not my friend, and did I know it! There are mother's trying to get the attention of the child’s friends for a ‘hook up’, but want to yell at the child about respect. HOLD ON! WAIT A MINUTE! Let me put some TRUTH in it! The old saying, “do as I SAY, not as I DO” has never worked. Last I checked, respect was not a 1-way street.

The Bible says, “there is a time for everything under the sun….” Now is the time to stop with the foolishness. Stop allowing your children to use offensive language towards you, in front of you, or about you. No, Johny Badass is not playing when he calls you a name when he is 4, one day he is going to be 14 calling you that in the grocery store. This is not the time to teach him “respect”. It is not okay for Suzi Smackdown to tell her friends, “just ignore her, she’s so stupid.” in front of you and know there are no consequences.

If you are a young parent that can’t wait to party with your kid, think twice about the stage you are setting. If you are old school, and still party with your kids, you have no place to play the respect card. You lost that right when you became their friend. If you are an OG Mom, let's begin to teach all children what respect really means. It is defined as: due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others; consideration; deep admiration.

What are your comments? How would you define your relationships? Was your parent a friend or a parent? Tell us your story.

This is Mother’s Day month, let's begin another tradition. In addition to the flowers, cards, and gifts...let us become Parents not Friends for our children.

Remember you can always CALL YOUR SISTER

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